Dear Santa
Thailand Travel Kit: Huts, Trip Itineraries, and Tips for the Budget or Upscale Tourist by a Thailand Insider who has lived in Thailand for 8 years by Jack B. Wily ... see you in Thailand ...
I understand that you are not my Uncle Sam. I am writing to you with a few concerns that i have about the american government.
about three hundred years ago it started a war with England. They said we were getting taxed two times-they called it something like 'Double Taxation'. I am a bit concerned because now i am getting taxed 39 times. i feel it is a little unfair. For each of these taxes, my Uncle says that the money is being put to good use. Take the gas tax-it pays to repair highways and bridges. I think it might be an idea, but all the roads are unrepaired and bridges are falling down. i am only five, so maybe i don't understand the world yet... is this the case?
Also, they tax me four dollars for every pack of cigarettes i smoke. i mean it cost about a buck to make a pack. they tell me that smoking is unhealthy. i 'imagine' that they put all my money into healthy stuff like P.E. in public schools, but now they say there is no money for P.E. in public schools. i sort of want to understand this Santa. I mean education in america is the most expensive in the world. Anyway, I know i have been a bad person because i smoke and drink and give lots of money to Uncle Sam to improve the world. I know all us sinners should be repentful and beg to give money, but i sometimes wonder why non-smokers feel obligated to steal money from me. I mean they don't have to smoke or drink, but when i smoke and drink, i have to give five bucks to a politician, so that they can improve the world.
I mean i know that the politicians need a lot of money so that they can make 'just' laws in america and help to defend our nation from predators. I mean, i know it cost a lot of money to set up an office and the telephone service and all-and that this is definitely necessary if a guy or gal wants to get a lot of cash from the N.R.A. I mean Santa- i know we need assault weapons in every household and that students should bring assault rifles to class in case a teacher missmarks a phony government created exam, but really Santa. sometimes these politicians seem to just be bringing in bucks and receiving favours from corporations and big banks. i know it is necessary to make us americans understand why we should get our asses shot off for going to a mall or a movie... this is obviously necessary if the second amendment has to allow us to purchase nuclear weapons. i already put myself on the list to receive a 25 kiloton uranium device for christmas, i wanted a 50 kiloton nuclear bomb to protect myself from house intruders, but Santa-i know you are busy-i mean with all those family shootings at christmas it must be pretty scary crawling down all those chimneys. you might catch some school student having sex and shit with her parents sprawled out on the floor high on meta-amphetamines. it does happen santa. i feel for you. but with 39 individual taxes i sometimes feel like getting stoned, and i am only five.
anyway, my family lost a house today that they paid off for 25 years. the property tax was about 35,000 dollars a year. i mean Santa. someday when i buy a house is it going to be mine? or is it true that if i buy a house i still have to pay 3,000 dollars a month to live in it after it is paid off? Please Santa, don't tell me that the corporations have made us buy a house and then pay rent for it like paupers did in Europe in some period of history. sorry, i am five... well, five on December 26th. i mean this property tax stuff does seem to be a bit like those kingdoms five hundred years ago where the farmers gave 30 percent of there produce to a king.... fuck, santa, this is what really bothers me... i mean if we fought a revolutionary war, why are we now paupers paying bucks to a fake government.
the real kicker is i know ofcourse that osama bin laden was a devil. i mean i know that for thirty years at least he wanted to overthrow the government and that the airheads in the government said to ignore hime because it was not PC. I mean i know at least one friend of my father who was in the C.I.A who saw these guys training to fly without training to land. boy was he pissed when he told his boss and his boss told him to ignore it. i mean all those weird theories about how my Uncle wanted the towers to be bombed could not be true, could they?
i really want to be a good fundamentalist muslim Uncle. i know i shouldn't have sex outside marriage. i know smoking and drinking is bad. i am trying to abide by your new rules uncle. it is difficult now that webcams are watching me in my cubicle. but the other day i was gonna have sex with this cute chick in my cubicle and when i saw the camera i pulled up my pants immediately. i remembered this documentary that i saw where this government agent admitted that child support was now being demanded (in the land of the free) from guys who have sex with unmarried women who later claim to have a child. santa. i give half my salary to a woman who got pregnant with another guy. the dna tests says the kid is not mine. yes now, i understand that this is very PC. i mean like the gov spy said... these kids need support... but santa... i was just thinking that when she said that that i thought, sorry santa, i mean i actually said the word fuck. i mean if the gov agent had such a giant big heart i thought she might adopt about ten of those kids, but now she says i have to give half my salary to the mother. santa. i am only five and have mothered a kid... i mean... i don't yet know that i have that horribly dirty thing called a vagina. sorry santa, i tried to look up the most polite word for that place and dictionary taught me 'vagina'... but FOX people say 'vagina is a dirty word'- those cunts.
sincerely ,
pregnant 5 year-old
P.S. okay santa, just send me a barbie doll for christmas and i will be happy- i have to look like one of those if i want to show my tits on Fox news someday. i thought i should learn something about journalism and improving the world, but now i see that i have to give guys erections and sell nuclear arms to them. anyway santa-please don't antagonize a redneck this christmas. all the guys around here are busy gunning down family members.
I understand that you are not my Uncle Sam. I am writing to you with a few concerns that i have about the american government.
about three hundred years ago it started a war with England. They said we were getting taxed two times-they called it something like 'Double Taxation'. I am a bit concerned because now i am getting taxed 39 times. i feel it is a little unfair. For each of these taxes, my Uncle says that the money is being put to good use. Take the gas tax-it pays to repair highways and bridges. I think it might be an idea, but all the roads are unrepaired and bridges are falling down. i am only five, so maybe i don't understand the world yet... is this the case?
Also, they tax me four dollars for every pack of cigarettes i smoke. i mean it cost about a buck to make a pack. they tell me that smoking is unhealthy. i 'imagine' that they put all my money into healthy stuff like P.E. in public schools, but now they say there is no money for P.E. in public schools. i sort of want to understand this Santa. I mean education in america is the most expensive in the world. Anyway, I know i have been a bad person because i smoke and drink and give lots of money to Uncle Sam to improve the world. I know all us sinners should be repentful and beg to give money, but i sometimes wonder why non-smokers feel obligated to steal money from me. I mean they don't have to smoke or drink, but when i smoke and drink, i have to give five bucks to a politician, so that they can improve the world.
I mean i know that the politicians need a lot of money so that they can make 'just' laws in america and help to defend our nation from predators. I mean, i know it cost a lot of money to set up an office and the telephone service and all-and that this is definitely necessary if a guy or gal wants to get a lot of cash from the N.R.A. I mean Santa- i know we need assault weapons in every household and that students should bring assault rifles to class in case a teacher missmarks a phony government created exam, but really Santa. sometimes these politicians seem to just be bringing in bucks and receiving favours from corporations and big banks. i know it is necessary to make us americans understand why we should get our asses shot off for going to a mall or a movie... this is obviously necessary if the second amendment has to allow us to purchase nuclear weapons. i already put myself on the list to receive a 25 kiloton uranium device for christmas, i wanted a 50 kiloton nuclear bomb to protect myself from house intruders, but Santa-i know you are busy-i mean with all those family shootings at christmas it must be pretty scary crawling down all those chimneys. you might catch some school student having sex and shit with her parents sprawled out on the floor high on meta-amphetamines. it does happen santa. i feel for you. but with 39 individual taxes i sometimes feel like getting stoned, and i am only five.
anyway, my family lost a house today that they paid off for 25 years. the property tax was about 35,000 dollars a year. i mean Santa. someday when i buy a house is it going to be mine? or is it true that if i buy a house i still have to pay 3,000 dollars a month to live in it after it is paid off? Please Santa, don't tell me that the corporations have made us buy a house and then pay rent for it like paupers did in Europe in some period of history. sorry, i am five... well, five on December 26th. i mean this property tax stuff does seem to be a bit like those kingdoms five hundred years ago where the farmers gave 30 percent of there produce to a king.... fuck, santa, this is what really bothers me... i mean if we fought a revolutionary war, why are we now paupers paying bucks to a fake government.
the real kicker is i know ofcourse that osama bin laden was a devil. i mean i know that for thirty years at least he wanted to overthrow the government and that the airheads in the government said to ignore hime because it was not PC. I mean i know at least one friend of my father who was in the C.I.A who saw these guys training to fly without training to land. boy was he pissed when he told his boss and his boss told him to ignore it. i mean all those weird theories about how my Uncle wanted the towers to be bombed could not be true, could they?
i really want to be a good fundamentalist muslim Uncle. i know i shouldn't have sex outside marriage. i know smoking and drinking is bad. i am trying to abide by your new rules uncle. it is difficult now that webcams are watching me in my cubicle. but the other day i was gonna have sex with this cute chick in my cubicle and when i saw the camera i pulled up my pants immediately. i remembered this documentary that i saw where this government agent admitted that child support was now being demanded (in the land of the free) from guys who have sex with unmarried women who later claim to have a child. santa. i give half my salary to a woman who got pregnant with another guy. the dna tests says the kid is not mine. yes now, i understand that this is very PC. i mean like the gov spy said... these kids need support... but santa... i was just thinking that when she said that that i thought, sorry santa, i mean i actually said the word fuck. i mean if the gov agent had such a giant big heart i thought she might adopt about ten of those kids, but now she says i have to give half my salary to the mother. santa. i am only five and have mothered a kid... i mean... i don't yet know that i have that horribly dirty thing called a vagina. sorry santa, i tried to look up the most polite word for that place and dictionary taught me 'vagina'... but FOX people say 'vagina is a dirty word'- those cunts.
sincerely ,
pregnant 5 year-old
P.S. okay santa, just send me a barbie doll for christmas and i will be happy- i have to look like one of those if i want to show my tits on Fox news someday. i thought i should learn something about journalism and improving the world, but now i see that i have to give guys erections and sell nuclear arms to them. anyway santa-please don't antagonize a redneck this christmas. all the guys around here are busy gunning down family members.
0 comments:
Post a Comment